Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.~Isn’t this what multiculturalism is all about?
~How will world peace ever be achieved except if all the religions can get along this way? There are multiple paths to God.
~It’s important to learn to see things from multiple perspectives or paradigms? How much more alternative can you get than from a different religion?
~You can’t control whom you love.
~Conflict sharpens and clarifies things for both believers.
~You can’t know what the future holds for someone’s spiritual development anyhow.
~Religion and religiosity are just one aspect of a person’s life, not the totality of it. If it were the totality of it, then you could marry anyone who was a Christian, but we know that’s just not the case. So why not recognize that many other features of a couple’s life might be in harmony even despite this one not being so.
~People who don’t share religion can still be deep best friends. And we know that being friends with your spouse is far more important than most other things.
~Lots of such marriages work perfectly well.
~The kids get exposed to a variety of viewpoints and are stronger for it.
~Whom I marry is my choice, and it’s really none of anyone else’s business.
~Not all dating leads to marriage.
~It looks downright redemptive to marry someone else. This is just the most sacrificial form of evangelism imaginable. Plus, you can help win that person over by your example.
~Are you against interracial marriage, too?
~James Carville and Mary Matlin are both high-profile representatives of the two political parties, and they have a great marriage.
~What a narrow, dogmatic, judgmental thing to presume to tell people that only those who happen to share your religious beliefs are acceptable spouse candidates.
Response--Why interfaith dating/marriage is a bad idea
1. The real key is what sort of union you will have.
a. If I really love something and that thing defines my identity and shapes my decisions and entices my devotion, but it’s something that you reject or don’t understand, how can you possibly understand me fully?
b. Knownness is the precondition to real love.
c. We can’t resolve our arguments.
d. We don’t have a common community.
2. Problems might be averted in the short term, but they always show up in the long term.
a. Raising the kids
b. Going to church
c. Giving money
d. Vastly different cultural/philosophical baggage.
e. In the infatuation stage, you don’t notice the real problems that others who aren’t suffering your infatuation see.
3. Why is it that ever major religion in the world advises its devotees to marry within the faith?
a. Because God is supposed to be our first love. This is one of the few things all religions agree about.
b. If one person loves Jesus and another person does not, there is a limit to how close they can truly become.
c. You will unavoidably either let Jesus live downtown and move your spouse to the suburbs or else let your spouse live downtown in your life and move Jesus to the suburbs.
d. How do you pray to sanctify your sexuality if you can’t even pray with the person you’re merging your body and soul with?
e. Ask a man or a woman who is currently trying to work things out with an unbelieving spouse.
f. How would you take communion alone?
g. Marrying outside of Christianity is an admission that Jesus is not the main supplier of your needs and that you don’t believe He ever can be.
4. You can't choose who you have attraction to, but you can choose who to invest yourself and your life in.
5. When I used to talk to my students about how to select a spouse. I called this the unbreakable never, never, never, never, never, never do it rule.
6. Marriage is a community decision, and you become part of a community with family and friends. Or haven’t you ever been to a wedding before?
7. Analogies
a. Would a single mother ever marry a man who didn't like, didn't care about, or didn't get along with her children? Why not? Because she can't be united to him if he can't be united with her in her love of them.
b. Would you marry someone who didn't love America and wanted to live somewhere else? You could only agree to this if you also didn't love America very much.
8. On dating in particular, don't date anyone you wouldn't marry. The point of dating is pre-marrying.
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