Monday, December 13, 2010

Ethics: Parenting, Discipline, and Grace

On Friday, in response to the Thought of the Day, a caller asked how to balance the competing claims of tough discipline and grace in parenting. I thought it was such an important question that I wanted to devote tonight’s show to it. What sort of parenting objectives do we have? What sort of discipline fits those objectives? Is parenting primarily about behavioral goals or theological ones?

Sow notes:
~Legalism, antinomianism, gospel.
~My primary job is to impart to them good theology rather than to cultivate in them good behavior.
~If I purchase good behavior at the price of good theology, I’ve seriously mucked up their development and my responsibility.
~The two go together, but if I have to pick, I’d rather they have faith than compliance.
~I want them to grow up and every time they learn something true about God their first reaction is, “Yep, that sounds just like my daddy.”
~How does God parent me?
~Which is more important, your relationship with them or their good behavior?
~Parenting for today versus parenting for ten years from now.
~When you parent for today you almost always get bad results later.
~Learning that obedience is the payment demanded for my love, approval, and support will only teach them false theology/legalism.
~To Spencer: Does God punish you for everything you do wrong? Do we punish you for everything you do wrong? So should you punish Ethan for everything he does wrong?
~Their need to know Who God Is and What His Character Is trumps every other concern I might have for them as a parent other than keeping them alive.
~When I treat them differently than how God treats me, I am saying I don’t really love God or His ways.
~I want everything I do to be patterned off and motivated by the Gospel and God’s Character.

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