Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wacky Wednesday--Flowers Are Bad


Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.

~They only die.
~They’re kind of a nuisance as you have to keep tending to them.
~Typically, they’re not very hardy, being easily destroyed.
~Some of them are poisonous to animals and children.
~Ever clean up a spilt and broken vase?
~They don’t do anything of practical value.
~The world is full of serious and important things you can be doing, and you bother growing flowers?
~How dare you use arable land for flowers when there are millions of starving and malnourished people in the world.
~They’re frivolous and wasteful.
~People can be allergic to them.
~They rot, and the water they’re in can collect and grow mold and bacteria
~If all the money wasted on flowers were instead donated to the poor, just think what an impact we could make on global (or even just American) poverty.

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