Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.~Are cookies mentioned anywhere in the Bible? Isn’t the Bible our standard for faith and practice?
~How dare you eat cookies while some people have no food at all.
~They make you fat.
~Sugar is unhealthy, just look at our diabetes epidemic
~They encourage you to eat raw dough, which contains raw eggs, which can contain salmonella, which is bad.
~Do we have a gluttony problem in America?
~Many people have whey allergies.
~What nutritional purpose does the cookie satisfy?
~They cause disagreement over how to be done or what sort is the best.
~They take too much time to make and are too difficult to cook properly.
~They ruin your appetite for real food.
~Children always want to eat them first and get into trouble pilfering them when they shouldn’t.
~Like Krispy Kreme donuts, they are really only worth eating while they are still warm. After that, what a waste!
~Isn’t self-control a fruit of the Spirit?
~At any moment you might have a cookie, you have three options: Eat a cookie, Eat nothing, Eat something healthy. When is “eat a cookie” ever going to be the best of these three alternatives?
~Your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit, isn’t it?
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