Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wacky Wednesday--Toys Are Wicked

Note: Before reading the following arguments, please understand that they are not what I believe. On Wednesdays, I deliberately argue for wrong ideas, challenging my listeners to call and defend the obvious right answer, which is usually far harder than one would expect. This is a summary of what Wacky Andrew will be arguing, not a representation of what real Andrew believes.


~Some kids don’t have food and water and clothing, why should your kid have toys?

If there were no toys, you’d never have to use the expression, “Don’t play with that, it’s not a toy!”

~By definition, toys are things that have no purpose and are frivolous, why should we be teaching kids that anything in life actually fits that description?

~Life is serious, but toys do not prepare children for this fact.

~The idea of childhood as a separate time that is to be sheltered from adult development is a very new thing historically. How’s that working for us?

~How do you prepare for adulthood by doing distinctly unadult things?

~They waste time.

~Becomes a need in every circumstance so that they no longer simply know how to sit still and be quiet without the bribe of a piece of distraction.

~They cost money.

~If they weren’t wasting time making toys, toy companies could be manufacturing truly useful things.

~Show me the toys in the Bible.

~Toys cultivate the mindset that fun is the most important thing in life, leading to the constant question parents ask their children these days, “Are you having fun?” And the lust for fun then becomes a hedonistic core to the life pursuits of most Americans, leading them into sex, drugs, alcohol, video games, and a whole lifestyle built around temporary pleasure rather than around permanent value and adult behaviors like having children and building a family.

~Kids raised without toys never are unclear about what is expected of them when they become older because they’ve been doing it all along.

~The ability to play and have fun becomes a test of adults rather than the ability to be responsible being a test of children.

~No regrets about growing up and losing the frivolous free time you used to have playing with your toys.

~No toys, no need for kids’ toy rooms and toy storage.

~No toys, no kids fighting over their toys.

~No toys, no toy advertising putting you at odds with your children.

~No toys, no need for selfish Christmas lists.

~No toys, no injuries from opening modern toy packaging.

~No toys, no toy-related injuries.

~No toys, no kid-on-kid keeping up with the Timmies competition.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

A toy chest can contain a lot of toys. And it will consume a lot of your time to search one particular toy. It is even more of a hassle when you have more than one such chest. Putting up labels on to the box helps you and your toddler understand where the cars or the trains’ are kept. A plastic chest is even feasible as it allows a see-through feature letting your child know what’s in. These chests are available in different styles . You can go creative with a pirate styled chest. They are famous and have a niche style. You also get these toy boxes walled with learning letters, flowers, animals etc. Thus giving it a dual purpose - one of storage and second, a learning method for your little one.

Andrew Tallman said...

In our house, we'd need a wall-sized Library of Congress style bank of drawers to keep all the things organized...which is sad. I'm beginning to think (my wife is already convinced) that their favorite activity is simply pulling out a bunch of toys and leaving them around the house rather than actually playing with any of them for very long. =)